…The Holidays Will Come
Mind Set | written by: The REV. RYAN FLEENOR | photo by: BAMBI RIEGEL | riegelpictureworks.com
Do you also feel your blood pressure going up this time of year? As much as I love the holidays, I am never ready for them. Somehow the pace of life seems to accelerate out of control. The tasks multiply, the invitations pile up, and we allow our completely unrealistic expectations of the “perfect” celebration to overwhelm us. From Thanksgiving through New Year’s, with Hannukah and Christmas in between, these six weeks really are…a lot. And even our best efforts to plan are not enough. As a pastor, I am more than aware of when Christmas is – same time each year! – and yet somehow, each year, I run around frantically to get plans made, sermons written, presents wrapped, menus set and all the rest. I know I am not alone. Ready or not, the holidays just come.
As a Christian, I have always found comfort in remembering that no one in the original Christmas story was particularly ready either. Like parents ever since, Mary and Joseph have no idea how this story is going to play out and who this child is going to become. The shepherds keeping watch in their fields by night? They certainly have no idea what is about to come their way, angels filling the sky with the most incredible news. Herod is not ready either. He is caught completely off-guard by the news from the Wise Men that a new king has been born in Israel. And then there is the poor innkeeper, the least ready of them all. Every character in the Christmas story – except God alone – is unready for what is to come. And yet that does not slow God down one bit. Like a cosmic game of “ready or not, here I come,” God did not wait for them to have it all together. And God does not wait for us, either. Whether we are ready or not, God just comes. Emmanuel. God with us. God for us. The Light darkness can never overcome.
“The holidays are not about perfectionism or having it all together. They are about being together. They are about gratitude. They are about paying attention, and noticing, and creating space for joy and wonder in our lives.”
Regardless of our religious tradition, or whether we have one at all, I hope we can all embrace this truth: we do not have to be ready to give or receive the blessings of this time of year. The holidays are not about perfectionism or having it all together. They are about being together. They are about gratitude. They are about paying attention, and noticing, and creating space for joy and wonder in our lives. They are about sharing light and love with each other.
So, friends, let’s create a little more space for each other and for ourselves this holiday season. Let’s be gentle and extend a little grace, starting with ourselves. Let’s lift the burden of perfectionism off our shoulders. Let’s shatter the idol of the flawless family gatherings. Let’s free ourselves from the idea that the gift and blessing of this season is of our own making, and instead look to be surprised by grace in our midst. Because it will come, ready or not.
The REV. RYAN FLEENOR is Rector (senior pastor) of Saint Luke’s Parish, the Episcopal church in Darien, Connecticut. Originally from Durham, North Carolina, he is a graduate of the University of Virginia and Yale Divinity School. Prior to serving at Saint Luke’s, he was a priest at St. James’ Church on the Upper East Side of Manhattan.
