By PAMELA DEY VOSSLER | photo by: BAMBI RIEGEL | riegelpictureworks.com
* Thank you Palmer’s Market for sponsoring our cover feature.
Amy Daniels (far left) and James Lucchesi (far right) with Depot club and program participants
It’s just math, simple math, really. It starts with 1+1 that winds up equaling so much more than two. Then comes the doubling, tripling, quadrupling and more of those plusses that add up to strength, resilience, confidence and a willingness to risk, fail, learn and move forward. Especially when it’s our kids and the world they must navigate that we’re talking about.
Because it’s about connecting, and hands down, the Depot has that covered, along with so many of the other factors critical to keeping our kids healthy and thriving. The Depot is Darien’s youth center, hub of our efforts to support our kids outside our homes and offset the effects of social media and the stress that surrounds them today with something better.
Focused on middle school and high school students – with some special events for elementary school kids as well, the Depot, located in the former train depot at 25 Heights Road, provides a welcoming, fun, no-judgment zone away from outside pressures. Through a range of programs tailored for each age group in combination with open drop-in time, the Depot connects kids face to face, in real time.
“The Depot has a long history in town of being a safe haven for teens and tweens,” said Ali Ramsteck, Darien’s Director of Human Services of the more than 30 years the Depot has existed to support our kids.
And giving them a place to feel safe, hang with friends, be known and learn what they can’t really get from a classroom is more important now than ever. Why?
“Kids today feel harder to draw in. It feels harder to get them behind something,” said Depot Executive Director Amy Daniels, a 12-year resident of Darien and a past PTO and Council of Darien School Parents leader who joined the Depot in April 2023. She’s also a longstanding member of the Thriving Youth Task Force, a Community Fund of Darien-sponsored volunteer coalition that brings together local community organizations to promote and empower positive youth development and mental health, primarily through an annual survey of Darien middle and high schoolers to assess mental health and attitudes surrounding risky behaviors. “We know from the 2023 Thriving Youth Survey, which I co-chaired, that many of our kids are depressed and many are anxious. It’s not just a Darien problem. We know it’s a national epidemic, but we’re seeing it at a rate of one in four high schoolers and one in five middle schoolers in Darien reporting feeling depressed and anxious.”
It’s a problem the Depot is working hard to tackle—from every angle.
Programs for high schoolers include clubs that give students chances to volunteer; personal development clubs, peer support initiatives such as Student League of Darien (SLOD) and others, as well as the leadership-building Student Governing Board (SGB) which serves as the Depot’s student voice.
Middle School programs are designed to build teamwork, resilience and community while supporting students through the challenges unique to this stage of their young lives.
left: Depot Board member Sarah Godshaw with her husband and son at the inaugural Depot Turkey Trot, right shown from left: Three of the five SLOD leaders this year; Will Benson, Elliot Lancaster and Will Warnock | photographs courtesy: the depot
Facilitated by trusted adults, Depot activities—the whole vibe actually—open the door for kids to have fun, to be seen, heard and honored for who they are—regardless of whose friend group they’re in.
“Trusted adults are so impactful to the resiliency of a kid. It’s a huge protective factor,” said Amy. With her husband, an active youth sports coach, she has a son in high school and a daughter at the middle school. “These are adults beyond their parents,” she added. “I don’t think we as parents always realize how important we are as people that our kids’ friends can come to.”
“The relationships that all of our staff forms with the youth that come to the Depot are hopefully another protective factor …that we know them, we see them, they know we’re here if they have issues,” continued Amy.
“There’s a middle school boy here who, when he first started coming, would barely take his eyes away from his device,” recalled Amy of a student for whom socializing is difficult. “And slowly, we’ve been pulling him from the device to get more engaged. Recently, on his birthday, we brought him in to (one of the program meetings) and 45 kids sang Happy Birthday to him. You could see his face. He was like ‘Me? They’re singing for me?’ He stayed and participated in the session. This place creates opportunities to do that,” said Amy.
“The Depot gives kids in the town a safe place to just go and hang out and have a social environment to thrive in,” said Audrey Miller, a Darien High School (DHS) senior and SGB co-president. “It’s an amazing space that is there for kids when they need it,” she said.
“What I love best about the Depot is the community. I know anytime I walk in the Depot, (Program Director James Lucchesi) will hit me with a ‘What’s up?!’ and a big smile,” said DHS senior David Popson, the SGB’s other co-president.
The Depot Dip at Weed Beach last March
As it settles into its next phase, building on what long-term program director Janice Marzano put in place during her 20 years there before retiring in January 2022, the Depot remains a place where kids can be kids, 100% themselves, and learn from their peers in a sort of pyramid effect. It’s a lifting up that teaches them to be open, to trust, to lead, to believe in their worth and the worth of others; they learn perspective and they learn to give, and they take what they learn into the rest of their lives.
“My time at the Depot has taught me so much, especially how to advocate for myself and others, as well as how to help others in achieving their goals and that is something I definitely will be taking into my life after graduation,” said Audrey, who is also a member of the DHS Spanish Club and the DHS swim and ski teams.
More than 300 Darien teens and tweens come to the Depot every week to attend a club or program or for drop-in hours. High school club sizes range from five to 62, with most clubs averaging 20 to 30 members. Middle School program sizes range from five to 47, with most averaging 12 to 20 members. Seven hundred high schoolers have visited the Depot since the start of the school year for its free Friday event series, team dinners, DHS club activities and theater cast parties.
“The Depot has taught me too many things to list, but most importantly, it helped me to become more confident,” said David who is also a member of the DHS soccer team and captain of the DHS ski team before a knee injury sidelined him. “In the beginning of my freshman year, I was a nervous kid. My mom had asked me to go to (a volunteer club) meetings and I remember being nervous to just say ‘here’ when the leaders called my name in attendance,” he recalled. “Throughout the year, with the guidance of the older leaders, I became more and more involved and even was voted the social media manager for the next year. The guidance of the older members and the social opportunities the club provided allowed me to become a better version of myself,” he added.
Mentorship matters, for sure—from peers, and from those trusted adults. It is another plus in all that makes the Depot such a positive force for our kids.
“I am a firm believer in mentorship …that’s what drew me in,” said Gary Morello, associate pastor of Noroton Presbyterian Church. Last September, he signed on to facilitate SLOD—the Depot’s mentorship program for high school boys, with James.
“SLOD is a place where young men can come and have fun and engage with each other, where boys can actually learn how to articulate emotion, how to have mature conversations about life and not be silly; how to care for one another outside of the classroom and the sports field or whatever activities they do,” explained Pastor Gary. “It’s also an opportunity for the upper classmen to give some experience, encouragement and well-being to the underclassmen.”
“I just love that the Depot provides that space,” he continued, emphasizing the importance of adult immersion in the lives of our youth, to meet them where they are.
“If there’s a big line dropping in there, there’s a responsibility in the adults, in the leaders in the community to get in the lives of our kids and to know them and to help them grow,” said Pastor Gary. “It’s all about us rising together and not being in our tribes,” he added.
“The Depot has given me great mentorship and learning experiences,” said David. “The adult leaders at the Depot have always been there to guide me throughout my high school journey. Beyond just club oversight, they have all gotten to know me on a personal level and have helped to make me the person I am today,” he said.
And as much as the adults give, it is the concern kids have for each other that really resonates.
“One of the things I was most surprised about is how much the students care about their programs and the Depot in general,” said James who joined the Depot last June. Previously, he worked in the West Haven School System as a teacher and program director. Most recently, he worked with the Wilton Parks and Recreation department and coached collegiate soccer at Albertus Magnus College while studying for a master’s degree in business administration.
“Coming into this position, I really believed that high schoolers wanted to put something a little extra on their resume to help them stand out from the bunch and that is why they chose to be part of these clubs,” James continued. “After meeting the students and being a part of the programs now, I can see it’s so much bigger than a resume filler. The level of care and planning that goes into it is incredible but more importantly how all the students treat each other is what makes this place special.”
Another plus? The opportunities the Depot gives youth to give back.
SGB Co-Presidents David Popson and Audrey Miller
“At the end of the day, we want these kids to grow up to be adults that care and give back and feel like they matter and serve a purpose. That brings a positive sense of self-worth and is key to good mental health,” said Amy.
Yet another plus: the Depot’s work to build town spirit as another backstop for our youth—a sort of cultural glue to keep them strong. Enter the Depot’s inaugural Turkey Trot the Friday after this past Thanksgiving.
With members of the DHS band and youth cheerleaders along the route, the Turkey Trot drew in more than 600 community members, mostly families. Over 40% of registered runners were kids under the age of 18.
“We saw high schoolers with their parents, recent grads with their parents, fourth graders with their parents,” said Amy. “The idea that kids are doing stuff with their family, but feeling part of a larger community, having a sense of pride in the town that they live in and the community members that surround them, we think is important,” she continued.
“We need to help the kids find their way back to the joy that we found, and generations upon generations of high schoolers have found, in being part of something larger than themselves,” added Amy, who counts on the SGB to weigh in on what might work.
The Depot Dip polar-plunge event at Weed Beach in March is a great example. Run by the SGB, it is another opportunity for families in Darien to come together in a fun event that builds community and supports our youth.
“Our student governing board is being thoughtful about what kinds of things we should do. Our staff, board and I have to really step back because this is their space. And if we’re deciding what they think is fun, it’s not going to be fun for them,” Amy explained.
At the end of the day, the solution to how best to support our youth is “about being really present for whatever student has decided to show up to,” said Pastor Gary. “They’re hungry for something,” he said.
It’s an equation the Depot is solving, a plus at a time.
For more information on how to get involved and support the Depot, visit dariendepot.com.
